Is it his fault? Everything else is, either in truth or from a certain point of view. If Severus hadn't been the way he was, Lily would never have been left with that as her only way out of being alone. He knows what that feels like-- but Merlin, it burns something awful inside of him, thinking about Albus sitting there with his gentle eyes telling him that if Lily saw the good in James that Severus needed to accept it. But she didn't, she just saw lies.
He doesn't know how he could have been different. The world was so harsh and he felt so small.
Lily doesn't have to make any noise. Severus turns after a while, tension in the air between them a living thing. He goes to his knees at her side and pulls her into an embrace he'd never dare with anyone else, and might not even with her at any other time. He feels dizzy with the strength of his emotions; anger and grief and all else. He doesn't know if he's trying to comfort her or make himself feel better, or if he has the capacity to think straight at all.
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He doesn't know how he could have been different. The world was so harsh and he felt so small.
Lily doesn't have to make any noise. Severus turns after a while, tension in the air between them a living thing. He goes to his knees at her side and pulls her into an embrace he'd never dare with anyone else, and might not even with her at any other time. He feels dizzy with the strength of his emotions; anger and grief and all else. He doesn't know if he's trying to comfort her or make himself feel better, or if he has the capacity to think straight at all.
"I'm sorry."