It's better than sci-fi dorm room decor. And more functional. If I got rid of the bed, I'd have more room for the dogs.
[ That's just being practical, never mind how much she envisions having a dresser with a mirror or something else that isn't metallic and gray. Or blue. She casts the lamp a look and decides that it's close enough to white for her tastes and doesn't even notice that the legs of the desk don't match perfectly. ]
What? [ Oh. ] Oh. Right. [ Down to business. ] I wanted to talk to you about the recon thing that's coming up. That Erik guy contacted me and said that it was highly encouraged everyone get medical exams before going out.
[ Also that you are running communications by yourself, and that kind of stresses her out a bit, because there is a chance things might go pear shaped and she knows how much it sucks to bear any feeling of responsibility for that. But mostly the idea of letting anyone examine her medically is freaking her out a little. ]
[ Having to talk about dogs is diverted by-- that. Severus nods, and motions for her to sit down wherever. There's a little chair and his impeccably made cot. (Practicing household spells. Sigh.) ]
We've spoken about it. I'm still not convinced it's the best idea to go out there, but I recommended you because I know you'd want to go. [ Well. ] Honestly, I don't know what a medical exam will do. William's found bugger all in the tests he's been conducting with everyone who came back.
[ Hopefully soon dogs will just be reduced to a couple of them rather than a few. It's still a lot, but she's making due as it is. As for sitting, she chooses to perch on the chair with her feet flat on the floor. ]
I guess having a control group is better than not having one. I don't know. Maybe he'll be able to find something to compare the tests he's already done to, if he's got our information before and after.
[ Not the crux of her reason for coming up here, but edging closer. In the meantime - ]
I appreciate you putting my name out there.. [ And she does, really. Most chances she's ever had to prove her mettle has been a result of her strong-arming her way to the front. It feels good to be recognized in some capacity. ] I don't know if I think we'll find something different from last time or just more trouble, but I feel like it's better to know. And be involved.
You don't have to go to medical. It's not a requirement. And it's not Erik's business if you've gone or not.
[ Severus understands the idea behind it, but science hasn't found anything. It's solved nothing. Which is not, of course, proof that it won't find something eventually, but it doesn't inspire much faith from someone already predisposed to being skeptical of it. ]
I hope you don't find anything. [ Plainly. ] If you do I'm going to stress the importance of noting what it is and bloody leaving. Don't go into any of those white doors.
He said it wasn't a requirement, just that it was strongly encouraged. Which kind of felt like it was a requirement without wanting to be totally authoritative about what I do with my medical records.
[ She also understands the reasoning behind it and why it would be a good idea even as someone whose vital stats have not changed since the tenth grade. But it makes her uncomfortable. The amount of people who know about her, about what her blood can do, is so minimal that just putting it out there for people she doesn't even know to reference is an idea that obviously is going to make her uncomfortable. She came up here to ask how weird it would be if she asked him to either vouch for her or if he was equipped to give her some kind of medical recommendation, so she's glad that she doesn't have to. ]
White doors. [ She nods. ] Check. Fully prepared to drag everyone away from anything that even remotely looks white. I don't feel like we're going to find anything different from what we've already found, either. If whatever force that drives this thing wanted us to find something, we probably would have found it already. But you never know. Maybe we can actually outsmart it for once.
[ Severus just doesn't care very much about the medical records idea. He could probably do Erik a solid and support it for him, and maybe he will with the others, but Claire obviously doesn't want to. So he's not going to encourage otherwise. ]
Going in there is what meddled with their memories and is continuing to cause problems for them. I'm sure of it. [ Just so we're clear on the white door thing. A phenomenon that has the power to completely control all of them. Don't go in the dang door. ] We're in its territory. [ and a concession, ] But it's important to continue to try and understand where we are.
[ White doors are bad. She has got this committed to memory. Though not for the first time she wonders what would happen if she actually did go in there. Would it affect her? Nothing else does. Not that she's going to, but still. ]
I want to continue and try to understand what it is. Just... all of the above. All of it. Sometimes I think about it and it is very frustrating.
[ Did you know that, Severus? Did you? Now you do. You're welcome. ]
I think we're on a ship that's trying to access other dimensions to steal resources and enslave races, or use the lot of it as fuel, and that us being here is a product of a malfunction with whatever mechanic is meant to be bringing the ship to other realities instead of bringing us here.
[ He says this completely seriously, but without much gravity. Just. Yep. That's his theory. ]
I suspect that if the jump driver ever functions the way it's meant to, we'll show up at someone's home planet and watch as an automated procedure demolishes it.
[ Well that's a lot better than her theory that it's just slowly trying to murder them all one at a time. Which isn't actually a substantial or legitimate theory and is just her way of compartmentalizing, in a sense. As a result, she's quiet a moment. Really, in all fairness, she hadn't expected a true answer. ]
How did you come to that conclusion?
[ Genuine interest. Claire leans back into the desk and crosses her arms and her legs. ]
[ Severus - who is sitting down opposite her idk if I remember to write that or not yeah awesome rping - exhales, a sort of sigh, implied shrugging. ]
I don't have a solid pattern of evidence. I just think it covers a variety of bases that otherwise seem unrelated or pointless. I could well be very wrong.
[ Claire concedes that point with a couple of raised eyebrows. ]
It's not exactly the worst theory that I've ever heard. [ She's quiet for a moment, her foot bobbing up and down in absent space. ] Hope it's not my planet.
[ She doesn't have to say that she agrees with him for it to be obvious that she does. No one wants to travel around on a giant murder ship. They probably want to travel around less on a giant murder ship of whole planets. ]
He was very...
[ She trails off, trying to find the right word. None of them really feel correct on her tongue when she tries them out, making vague shapes with her mouth. ]
He's dangerous. [ Shrug. ] But he cares more about defeating this place than anything else. I'd prefer to know he's working on something than worry about what he might be up to if things became too quiet.
[ Everyone here, to some degree, is dangerous. Severus obviously doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Because for now, it isn't. ]
I feel a bit better knowing you and Lily will be along.
[ Not knowing anything about Erik outside of the fact that he's apparently willing to take Severus on his word and is fond of texting, Claire is willing to take what Severus says at face value. Maybe she'll get first hand experience to back that opinion up now that they're going to be working together - not that she wants to - but in the meantime this will do. And he's right, besides: who here isn't dangerous? ]
We paired up when we went into the corridors the last time, with Maria. She's got a vested interest in puppies, too, so that makes her a good reference in my book. [ In all seriousness, though. Claire finds her a warm contrast to the overall glum of those missions, focused and capable. For a moment, she seems to mull over something, the approaches the topic carefully. ] You two were in school together, right?
[ Her tone of voice makes it expressly clear that is all she's aware of. ]
[ Severus doesn't answer right away. His expression is carefully blank.
After a moment, ]
We knew each other before school for a little while. [ He glances away briefly, that neutral expression holding. ] We were in different houses, we grew up and grew apart. She's very good a potionmaking, it's nice to have someone else here who knows what they're doing.
[ It's more than she's expecting to get and also more positive than she's anticipating, both of which are extremely welcome. Never mind that implications behind growing apart are lost on her, what that really means. That he doesn't speak of her with the same degree of malice that any of his other classmates have garnered leaves her feeling relieved. ]
It happens. It sucks but it does. [ Claire does think of Zach when she says it, even if it's not remotely the same, and she knows better than to inquire further. ] Is potionmaking as much about magic as the other things you're able to do? I know you shot down my chemistry comparison a long time ago, but it seems like it's more hands-on, or just - [ She makes a gesture with her hands, like she's squeezing grapefruit for ripeness. ] - tangible.
[ Severus doesn't know how to talk about Lily. He can't be honest, but he can't be angry, either. There will always be hurt and pain there-- when she chose the people who tortured him, when she refused his apology, when she married the ringleader of those animals. But Severus did worse to her. Anger is reserved for Black, and Potter, the werewolf, and that pointless little rat.
He still loves her. Of course he does. Lily's the only person who was ever selflessly kind to him. He'll never not love her. It's out of love that he doesn't say more. She deserves more than being associated so closely with him, and having her business spread around.
Talking about potions is better. ]
Yes, it's still magic. [ Severus seems a little distant at first, but slowly shakes it off. ] There's a kind of silent communication during the process. Only witches and wizards can coax the correct properties from it all.
[ In some ways, it would be a nice thing to know, just as much as it would be another sad thing. And not because it would be one more piece to the puzzle or anything like that but because moments of brightness seem so few and far between for him and even the slightest blip on the radar in that capacity would be a welcome acknowledgement. That's overlooking the fact that those kinds of memories are often marred by what comes later, and maybe it's all a good thing that he doesn't divulge more. Claire doesn't ask.
She does look somewhat disappointed, though it's mostly exaggerated. She huffs and dramatically blows some of the shorter pieces of hair crowding around her face away from the curve of her cheek, rolling her eyes. ]
It's like every day is a constant reminder that I will never be cool.
[ Claire Bennet is every eleven-year-old who read a book and never got a letter. Except she's nineteen. And deciding that instead of sitting she's going to wander around the small space following the reaction to that previous line of conversation. Blank is still blank, and it's telling in its own right, even if it's not overt in its translation. Eventually she picks up that scarf. ]
Most witches and wizards can't do potionmaking properly. [ So she shouldn't worry in that respect. Also wizards and witches can't regenerate limbs once they've been mauled off.
He watches her, staying where he is. The little room smells a bit like mint from the balm he makes for his hands with the faintest remnants of tobacco; there's a mug on the small dresser that he uses as an ash tray, but it's cleaned and empty. He doesn't smoke all that much. ]
I hadn't seen it in years until I got here, [ he says of the scarf. ] Slytherin house colors. I think it must be the one I had as a student.
You get a scarf from the past, and I can't even get a change of sheets.
[ Maybe now that all the Petrellis have vacated the ship, she'll get her chance to shine in the goods from home department, some cosmic balance tipping in her favor. Spike had found her plenty of things before he just disappeared, but nothing to brighten up anything in that sardine tin. Claire has pieced things together in order to make it look less like a cell of some kind, but her bedrooms have always been open and airy and organized with color. It isn't really a big deal, but she notices. ]
I like the colors. Back in Odessa, our colors were red and white. Different shades of blue in California. Never saw any green and silver personally.
[ Having turned away while folding the thick material in her hands to look at some of the other odds and ends, Claire lets the scarf unravel as she turns back and takes the one step necessary to bringing her within reaching distance. Sloppily - still, almost nervously, as if unsure if she should be doing anything at all - she drapes it over his shoulders in a poor imitation of a proper tie. ]
There are more sheets here. [ He transfigured them into paper, even. Severus sits still and lets her fuss the scarf around him and he smiles, lopsided. He looks like he's not used to smiling - he isn't - and it always ends up appearing kind of odd. Good thing, maybe, that he always keeps it brief. ]
I live in a dungeon, I like the temperature set lower. [ He tugs one end of the scarf but doesn't pull it off. It is weird; it even smells like what he remembers. What a fucking choice, TQ. ] Do you want it?
[ She makes a tsking sound along the roof of her mouth. There are more sheets but they aren't her sheets, which are soft and warm and decorated with flowers. There's always something about sleeping in your own bed. She'd like to have the closest version of that. ]
Yeah, I was gonna say - it's kind of chilly in here. [ The light, in a weird way, only seems to add to that fact. She can't imagine what living in a dungeon might be like. Drippy, probably. ] It's yours. You should keep it.
[ He could tint it yellowish instead and it'd feel warmer, but he's not a mind reader. It feels cleaner, he thinks, this way. Too much nostalgia for home just makes him annoyed.
Anyway. Severus adjusts a bit and then loops one end of the scarf around her.
So there. ]
Sure you're all right?
[ Missing home or. Whatever. Take the scarf, Claire. ]
[ She definitely isn't missing home, that's for sure. Claire realizes that's a strange conclusion to come to but putting that catastrophe on pause for as long as possible is something she can only ever be happy about. And she really did come down here to ask in person about the medical records thing but maybe there was more to it than that, maybe that was just a smokescreen.
Her fingertips catch the end of the scarf and she examines it for frays and tears and other imperfections. So that she doesn't have to look at him when she says it, Claire unwinds the fabric from around his neck and talks while doing so. ]
I kind of got into it with someone recently. [ It's probably obvious who the someone is - okay, maybe not - but she doesn't want to specify if she doesn't have to. This conversation already might go somewhere she's not entirely prepared to take it. ] I thought eventually I would just stop caring but it's taking it's time going away, that's all.
[ When she's finished, she is adequately scarfed in Slytherin colors. ]
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[ That's just being practical, never mind how much she envisions having a dresser with a mirror or something else that isn't metallic and gray. Or blue. She casts the lamp a look and decides that it's close enough to white for her tastes and doesn't even notice that the legs of the desk don't match perfectly. ]
What? [ Oh. ] Oh. Right. [ Down to business. ] I wanted to talk to you about the recon thing that's coming up. That Erik guy contacted me and said that it was highly encouraged everyone get medical exams before going out.
[ Also that you are running communications by yourself, and that kind of stresses her out a bit, because there is a chance things might go pear shaped and she knows how much it sucks to bear any feeling of responsibility for that. But mostly the idea of letting anyone examine her medically is freaking her out a little. ]
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We've spoken about it. I'm still not convinced it's the best idea to go out there, but I recommended you because I know you'd want to go. [ Well. ] Honestly, I don't know what a medical exam will do. William's found bugger all in the tests he's been conducting with everyone who came back.
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I guess having a control group is better than not having one. I don't know. Maybe he'll be able to find something to compare the tests he's already done to, if he's got our information before and after.
[ Not the crux of her reason for coming up here, but edging closer. In the meantime - ]
I appreciate you putting my name out there.. [ And she does, really. Most chances she's ever had to prove her mettle has been a result of her strong-arming her way to the front. It feels good to be recognized in some capacity. ] I don't know if I think we'll find something different from last time or just more trouble, but I feel like it's better to know. And be involved.
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[ Severus understands the idea behind it, but science hasn't found anything. It's solved nothing. Which is not, of course, proof that it won't find something eventually, but it doesn't inspire much faith from someone already predisposed to being skeptical of it. ]
I hope you don't find anything. [ Plainly. ] If you do I'm going to stress the importance of noting what it is and bloody leaving. Don't go into any of those white doors.
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[ She also understands the reasoning behind it and why it would be a good idea even as someone whose vital stats have not changed since the tenth grade. But it makes her uncomfortable. The amount of people who know about her, about what her blood can do, is so minimal that just putting it out there for people she doesn't even know to reference is an idea that obviously is going to make her uncomfortable. She came up here to ask how weird it would be if she asked him to either vouch for her or if he was equipped to give her some kind of medical recommendation, so she's glad that she doesn't have to. ]
White doors. [ She nods. ] Check. Fully prepared to drag everyone away from anything that even remotely looks white. I don't feel like we're going to find anything different from what we've already found, either. If whatever force that drives this thing wanted us to find something, we probably would have found it already. But you never know. Maybe we can actually outsmart it for once.
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Going in there is what meddled with their memories and is continuing to cause problems for them. I'm sure of it. [ Just so we're clear on the white door thing. A phenomenon that has the power to completely control all of them. Don't go in the dang door. ] We're in its territory. [ and a concession, ] But it's important to continue to try and understand where we are.
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I want to continue and try to understand what it is. Just... all of the above. All of it. Sometimes I think about it and it is very frustrating.
[ Did you know that, Severus? Did you? Now you do. You're welcome. ]
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[ He says this completely seriously, but without much gravity. Just. Yep. That's his theory. ]
I suspect that if the jump driver ever functions the way it's meant to, we'll show up at someone's home planet and watch as an automated procedure demolishes it.
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How did you come to that conclusion?
[ Genuine interest. Claire leans back into the desk and crosses her arms and her legs. ]
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I don't have a solid pattern of evidence. I just think it covers a variety of bases that otherwise seem unrelated or pointless. I could well be very wrong.
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It's not exactly the worst theory that I've ever heard. [ She's quiet for a moment, her foot bobbing up and down in absent space. ] Hope it's not my planet.
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[ Maybe. It could be worse. He decides not to say so; she's probably aware as he is. Severus leans with his elbows on his knees and shakes his head. ]
In any event. Erik is a weird bastard but he's effective.
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He was very...
[ She trails off, trying to find the right word. None of them really feel correct on her tongue when she tries them out, making vague shapes with her mouth. ]
Abrupt? Maybe?
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[ Everyone here, to some degree, is dangerous. Severus obviously doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Because for now, it isn't. ]
I feel a bit better knowing you and Lily will be along.
[ Sane people. ]
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We paired up when we went into the corridors the last time, with Maria. She's got a vested interest in puppies, too, so that makes her a good reference in my book. [ In all seriousness, though. Claire finds her a warm contrast to the overall glum of those missions, focused and capable. For a moment, she seems to mull over something, the approaches the topic carefully. ] You two were in school together, right?
[ Her tone of voice makes it expressly clear that is all she's aware of. ]
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After a moment, ]
We knew each other before school for a little while. [ He glances away briefly, that neutral expression holding. ] We were in different houses, we grew up and grew apart. She's very good a potionmaking, it's nice to have someone else here who knows what they're doing.
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It happens. It sucks but it does. [ Claire does think of Zach when she says it, even if it's not remotely the same, and she knows better than to inquire further. ] Is potionmaking as much about magic as the other things you're able to do? I know you shot down my chemistry comparison a long time ago, but it seems like it's more hands-on, or just - [ She makes a gesture with her hands, like she's squeezing grapefruit for ripeness. ] - tangible.
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He still loves her. Of course he does. Lily's the only person who was ever selflessly kind to him. He'll never not love her. It's out of love that he doesn't say more. She deserves more than being associated so closely with him, and having her business spread around.
Talking about potions is better. ]
Yes, it's still magic. [ Severus seems a little distant at first, but slowly shakes it off. ] There's a kind of silent communication during the process. Only witches and wizards can coax the correct properties from it all.
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She does look somewhat disappointed, though it's mostly exaggerated. She huffs and dramatically blows some of the shorter pieces of hair crowding around her face away from the curve of her cheek, rolling her eyes. ]
It's like every day is a constant reminder that I will never be cool.
[ Claire Bennet is every eleven-year-old who read a book and never got a letter. Except she's nineteen. And deciding that instead of sitting she's going to wander around the small space following the reaction to that previous line of conversation. Blank is still blank, and it's telling in its own right, even if it's not overt in its translation. Eventually she picks up that scarf. ]
This is nice.
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He watches her, staying where he is. The little room smells a bit like mint from the balm he makes for his hands with the faintest remnants of tobacco; there's a mug on the small dresser that he uses as an ash tray, but it's cleaned and empty. He doesn't smoke all that much. ]
I hadn't seen it in years until I got here, [ he says of the scarf. ] Slytherin house colors. I think it must be the one I had as a student.
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[ Maybe now that all the Petrellis have vacated the ship, she'll get her chance to shine in the goods from home department, some cosmic balance tipping in her favor. Spike had found her plenty of things before he just disappeared, but nothing to brighten up anything in that sardine tin. Claire has pieced things together in order to make it look less like a cell of some kind, but her bedrooms have always been open and airy and organized with color. It isn't really a big deal, but she notices. ]
I like the colors. Back in Odessa, our colors were red and white. Different shades of blue in California. Never saw any green and silver personally.
[ Having turned away while folding the thick material in her hands to look at some of the other odds and ends, Claire lets the scarf unravel as she turns back and takes the one step necessary to bringing her within reaching distance. Sloppily - still, almost nervously, as if unsure if she should be doing anything at all - she drapes it over his shoulders in a poor imitation of a proper tie. ]
Space is cold.
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I live in a dungeon, I like the temperature set lower. [ He tugs one end of the scarf but doesn't pull it off. It is weird; it even smells like what he remembers. What a fucking choice, TQ. ] Do you want it?
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Yeah, I was gonna say - it's kind of chilly in here. [ The light, in a weird way, only seems to add to that fact. She can't imagine what living in a dungeon might be like. Drippy, probably. ] It's yours. You should keep it.
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Anyway. Severus adjusts a bit and then loops one end of the scarf around her.
So there. ]
Sure you're all right?
[ Missing home or. Whatever. Take the scarf, Claire. ]
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[ She definitely isn't missing home, that's for sure. Claire realizes that's a strange conclusion to come to but putting that catastrophe on pause for as long as possible is something she can only ever be happy about. And she really did come down here to ask in person about the medical records thing but maybe there was more to it than that, maybe that was just a smokescreen.
Her fingertips catch the end of the scarf and she examines it for frays and tears and other imperfections. So that she doesn't have to look at him when she says it, Claire unwinds the fabric from around his neck and talks while doing so. ]
I kind of got into it with someone recently. [ It's probably obvious who the someone is - okay, maybe not - but she doesn't want to specify if she doesn't have to. This conversation already might go somewhere she's not entirely prepared to take it. ] I thought eventually I would just stop caring but it's taking it's time going away, that's all.
[ When she's finished, she is adequately scarfed in Slytherin colors. ]
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