[ This comes across quick and hesitant at once, like he's tricking himself into committing. Because maybe leaving this conversation at professional would be uniquely awful, or somehow not correct--
--as much as trying to read Severus is as helpful as trying to see through holographic ice. ]
Does he want an apology from Charles? What would it even be for? He's not taking it personally in terms of being abandoned in the department - that feeling is reserved for being angry at himself for having accidentally trusted him somewhat. Maybe not emotionally, but he certainly did trust that Charles was dedicated to his work.
Apparently not. ]
Don't. [ Quietly. He stands up. ] You haven't done anything to me.
Because I can't do anything to you. Is that what you've decided.
[ His hands grip arms tighter, like he has half a mind to stand up as well, but he'd rather not have to fuss with that.
And maybe someone should have told him that apologies require a degree of humbling. That trace of challenge in his voice is reeled back in, as if it had been used to hook Severus from leaving.
[ --that gets a surprised huff of nearly laugh, even if Charles can't pretend that any humour he finds there is deliberate or friendly on Snape's part.
He settles back a little further into his chair. ]
You asked if I needed help, when you first found me. I should have had this conversation then.
[ He doesn't think he could have, struggling as he is now, even after given reason; but he's biting back excuses, for the moment. ]
[ Not giving an inch; to do otherwise wouldn't be genuine. He's disappointed and revolted over what Charles has done to the point of anger and he's not over it. Not even close. ]
But at least you didn't put it off for long enough to make me force it on you.
[ Severus turns away and motions with one hand over his shoulder, Vanishing the chair back to its home as the holodeck door opens to let him out. He leaves, doing nothing to further confirm or deny the fact that he still gives enough of a fuck to have considered shoving help on him anyway. ]
Charles has made friends with enough difficult people to recognise it for what it is, even if it must be measured and counterbalanced with things like pragmatism and where it stands in the scheme of so much fuckery, but it could always be worse.
It's all still pretty bleak and it's a wilful struggle not to crush this one thing into meaningless oblivion, along with everything else. He watches snow fall for some time longer. ]
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no subject
[ This comes across quick and hesitant at once, like he's tricking himself into committing. Because maybe leaving this conversation at professional would be uniquely awful, or somehow not correct--
--as much as trying to read Severus is as helpful as trying to see through holographic ice. ]
I wanted to apologise.
no subject
Does he want an apology from Charles? What would it even be for? He's not taking it personally in terms of being abandoned in the department - that feeling is reserved for being angry at himself for having accidentally trusted him somewhat. Maybe not emotionally, but he certainly did trust that Charles was dedicated to his work.
Apparently not. ]
Don't. [ Quietly. He stands up. ] You haven't done anything to me.
[ Xavier should probably apologize to himself. ]
no subject
[ His hands grip arms tighter, like he has half a mind to stand up as well, but he'd rather not have to fuss with that.
And maybe someone should have told him that apologies require a degree of humbling. That trace of challenge in his voice is reeled back in, as if it had been used to hook Severus from leaving.
But: don't. ]
I'd really rather try to.
no subject
Apologize, or do something to me?
no subject
He settles back a little further into his chair. ]
You asked if I needed help, when you first found me. I should have had this conversation then.
[ He doesn't think he could have, struggling as he is now, even after given reason; but he's biting back excuses, for the moment. ]
no subject
Yes. You should have.
[ Not giving an inch; to do otherwise wouldn't be genuine. He's disappointed and revolted over what Charles has done to the point of anger and he's not over it. Not even close. ]
But at least you didn't put it off for long enough to make me force it on you.
[ Severus turns away and motions with one hand over his shoulder, Vanishing the chair back to its home as the holodeck door opens to let him out. He leaves, doing nothing to further confirm or deny the fact that he still gives enough of a fuck to have considered shoving help on him anyway. ]
no subject
Charles has made friends with enough difficult people to recognise it for what it is, even if it must be measured and counterbalanced with things like pragmatism and where it stands in the scheme of so much fuckery, but it could always be worse.
It's all still pretty bleak and it's a wilful struggle not to crush this one thing into meaningless oblivion, along with everything else. He watches snow fall for some time longer. ]