[ Well that's a lot better than her theory that it's just slowly trying to murder them all one at a time. Which isn't actually a substantial or legitimate theory and is just her way of compartmentalizing, in a sense. As a result, she's quiet a moment. Really, in all fairness, she hadn't expected a true answer. ]
How did you come to that conclusion?
[ Genuine interest. Claire leans back into the desk and crosses her arms and her legs. ]
[ Severus - who is sitting down opposite her idk if I remember to write that or not yeah awesome rping - exhales, a sort of sigh, implied shrugging. ]
I don't have a solid pattern of evidence. I just think it covers a variety of bases that otherwise seem unrelated or pointless. I could well be very wrong.
[ Claire concedes that point with a couple of raised eyebrows. ]
It's not exactly the worst theory that I've ever heard. [ She's quiet for a moment, her foot bobbing up and down in absent space. ] Hope it's not my planet.
[ She doesn't have to say that she agrees with him for it to be obvious that she does. No one wants to travel around on a giant murder ship. They probably want to travel around less on a giant murder ship of whole planets. ]
He was very...
[ She trails off, trying to find the right word. None of them really feel correct on her tongue when she tries them out, making vague shapes with her mouth. ]
He's dangerous. [ Shrug. ] But he cares more about defeating this place than anything else. I'd prefer to know he's working on something than worry about what he might be up to if things became too quiet.
[ Everyone here, to some degree, is dangerous. Severus obviously doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Because for now, it isn't. ]
I feel a bit better knowing you and Lily will be along.
[ Not knowing anything about Erik outside of the fact that he's apparently willing to take Severus on his word and is fond of texting, Claire is willing to take what Severus says at face value. Maybe she'll get first hand experience to back that opinion up now that they're going to be working together - not that she wants to - but in the meantime this will do. And he's right, besides: who here isn't dangerous? ]
We paired up when we went into the corridors the last time, with Maria. She's got a vested interest in puppies, too, so that makes her a good reference in my book. [ In all seriousness, though. Claire finds her a warm contrast to the overall glum of those missions, focused and capable. For a moment, she seems to mull over something, the approaches the topic carefully. ] You two were in school together, right?
[ Her tone of voice makes it expressly clear that is all she's aware of. ]
[ Severus doesn't answer right away. His expression is carefully blank.
After a moment, ]
We knew each other before school for a little while. [ He glances away briefly, that neutral expression holding. ] We were in different houses, we grew up and grew apart. She's very good a potionmaking, it's nice to have someone else here who knows what they're doing.
[ It's more than she's expecting to get and also more positive than she's anticipating, both of which are extremely welcome. Never mind that implications behind growing apart are lost on her, what that really means. That he doesn't speak of her with the same degree of malice that any of his other classmates have garnered leaves her feeling relieved. ]
It happens. It sucks but it does. [ Claire does think of Zach when she says it, even if it's not remotely the same, and she knows better than to inquire further. ] Is potionmaking as much about magic as the other things you're able to do? I know you shot down my chemistry comparison a long time ago, but it seems like it's more hands-on, or just - [ She makes a gesture with her hands, like she's squeezing grapefruit for ripeness. ] - tangible.
[ Severus doesn't know how to talk about Lily. He can't be honest, but he can't be angry, either. There will always be hurt and pain there-- when she chose the people who tortured him, when she refused his apology, when she married the ringleader of those animals. But Severus did worse to her. Anger is reserved for Black, and Potter, the werewolf, and that pointless little rat.
He still loves her. Of course he does. Lily's the only person who was ever selflessly kind to him. He'll never not love her. It's out of love that he doesn't say more. She deserves more than being associated so closely with him, and having her business spread around.
Talking about potions is better. ]
Yes, it's still magic. [ Severus seems a little distant at first, but slowly shakes it off. ] There's a kind of silent communication during the process. Only witches and wizards can coax the correct properties from it all.
[ In some ways, it would be a nice thing to know, just as much as it would be another sad thing. And not because it would be one more piece to the puzzle or anything like that but because moments of brightness seem so few and far between for him and even the slightest blip on the radar in that capacity would be a welcome acknowledgement. That's overlooking the fact that those kinds of memories are often marred by what comes later, and maybe it's all a good thing that he doesn't divulge more. Claire doesn't ask.
She does look somewhat disappointed, though it's mostly exaggerated. She huffs and dramatically blows some of the shorter pieces of hair crowding around her face away from the curve of her cheek, rolling her eyes. ]
It's like every day is a constant reminder that I will never be cool.
[ Claire Bennet is every eleven-year-old who read a book and never got a letter. Except she's nineteen. And deciding that instead of sitting she's going to wander around the small space following the reaction to that previous line of conversation. Blank is still blank, and it's telling in its own right, even if it's not overt in its translation. Eventually she picks up that scarf. ]
Most witches and wizards can't do potionmaking properly. [ So she shouldn't worry in that respect. Also wizards and witches can't regenerate limbs once they've been mauled off.
He watches her, staying where he is. The little room smells a bit like mint from the balm he makes for his hands with the faintest remnants of tobacco; there's a mug on the small dresser that he uses as an ash tray, but it's cleaned and empty. He doesn't smoke all that much. ]
I hadn't seen it in years until I got here, [ he says of the scarf. ] Slytherin house colors. I think it must be the one I had as a student.
You get a scarf from the past, and I can't even get a change of sheets.
[ Maybe now that all the Petrellis have vacated the ship, she'll get her chance to shine in the goods from home department, some cosmic balance tipping in her favor. Spike had found her plenty of things before he just disappeared, but nothing to brighten up anything in that sardine tin. Claire has pieced things together in order to make it look less like a cell of some kind, but her bedrooms have always been open and airy and organized with color. It isn't really a big deal, but she notices. ]
I like the colors. Back in Odessa, our colors were red and white. Different shades of blue in California. Never saw any green and silver personally.
[ Having turned away while folding the thick material in her hands to look at some of the other odds and ends, Claire lets the scarf unravel as she turns back and takes the one step necessary to bringing her within reaching distance. Sloppily - still, almost nervously, as if unsure if she should be doing anything at all - she drapes it over his shoulders in a poor imitation of a proper tie. ]
There are more sheets here. [ He transfigured them into paper, even. Severus sits still and lets her fuss the scarf around him and he smiles, lopsided. He looks like he's not used to smiling - he isn't - and it always ends up appearing kind of odd. Good thing, maybe, that he always keeps it brief. ]
I live in a dungeon, I like the temperature set lower. [ He tugs one end of the scarf but doesn't pull it off. It is weird; it even smells like what he remembers. What a fucking choice, TQ. ] Do you want it?
[ She makes a tsking sound along the roof of her mouth. There are more sheets but they aren't her sheets, which are soft and warm and decorated with flowers. There's always something about sleeping in your own bed. She'd like to have the closest version of that. ]
Yeah, I was gonna say - it's kind of chilly in here. [ The light, in a weird way, only seems to add to that fact. She can't imagine what living in a dungeon might be like. Drippy, probably. ] It's yours. You should keep it.
[ He could tint it yellowish instead and it'd feel warmer, but he's not a mind reader. It feels cleaner, he thinks, this way. Too much nostalgia for home just makes him annoyed.
Anyway. Severus adjusts a bit and then loops one end of the scarf around her.
So there. ]
Sure you're all right?
[ Missing home or. Whatever. Take the scarf, Claire. ]
[ She definitely isn't missing home, that's for sure. Claire realizes that's a strange conclusion to come to but putting that catastrophe on pause for as long as possible is something she can only ever be happy about. And she really did come down here to ask in person about the medical records thing but maybe there was more to it than that, maybe that was just a smokescreen.
Her fingertips catch the end of the scarf and she examines it for frays and tears and other imperfections. So that she doesn't have to look at him when she says it, Claire unwinds the fabric from around his neck and talks while doing so. ]
I kind of got into it with someone recently. [ It's probably obvious who the someone is - okay, maybe not - but she doesn't want to specify if she doesn't have to. This conversation already might go somewhere she's not entirely prepared to take it. ] I thought eventually I would just stop caring but it's taking it's time going away, that's all.
[ When she's finished, she is adequately scarfed in Slytherin colors. ]
[ 'So hex them' isn't the right answer (or an applicable one). Severus watches silver and green yarn wind around and around, and after a moment he reaches out and takes one of her hands.
Threatening to kill someone for her probably isn't the right answer either. He sits back enough so that if she wants to sit next to him she can; he lets go of her hand, not clinging or pulling her around. Brief and supportive. He hopes. ]
Do you want to tell me about it? [ That's a better answer. Right? Probably. Sounds accurate.
(If it was Black, Severus will actually kill him.) ]
[ Hexing them presents two problems; the first issue being that she is without the ability to actually hex anyone or anything and the second having more to do with the fact that she knows violence will only exacerbate the situation. Even if she still kind of does want to punch something. The other issues is that discussing this in any capacity opens up a can of worms that she is already feeling self-conscious about, even though she knows it's completely stupid. ]
I don't know. [ She really doesn't. Distantly Claire knows that if anyone was going to be understanding about it, Severus would be the one. That doesn't change anything, and she doesn't sit down just yet. ] There's kind of a lot more to it than just the argument.
[ Sirius Black is safe another day on the Tranquility, and Claire intends to not name names just for the sake of containing the situation. ]
[ Severus remembers when they were fighting-- she'd snapped at him over Peter, then snapped at him for asking about it, and he's still not entirely sure why that argument happened the way it did, but he feels fairly confident it was greatly egged on by words coming out of his mouth. He was being an arsehole at the time, but he's no better navigating interpersonal social cues when he's not.
Instead of prodding at her to say more he just stays where he is and looks at her. He tries to keep his expression patient. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine, but he doesn't know what else to say that won't be something stupid. She mentioned it, anyway. Maybe she just needs a distraction. Or. Something. He doesn't have a deck of cards.
The silence could be awkward, but Severus is adept at seeming fine with it. Being reserved has some benefits. ]
[ Claire, on the other hand, is terrible at shrugging off awkward on a good day. Her spine immediately straightens to the point of rigidity, even though she leans carefully to one side, hip cocked to bear the brunt of her weight. Neatly rounded fingernails pick at the ends of the scarf and if it wasn't frayed before, the way she needles at it means that it's going to be. She sits down before she can start splitting the ends like pieces of hair, not exactly nervous or afraid but something that she definitely hasn't expressed in front of him before. Her legs hang off the edge of the cot when normally she would just relax against it and spread out like she was laying claim. Now this scarf is the singularly most fascinating thing she has ever seen in her entire life.
For a long time - or what feels like a long time and is actually probably a long time, since sitting in silence with only one other person for longer than 30 seconds feels like sitting in silence with them for three hours - Claire just fiddles with the scarf, spreading it across her thighs and blanketing her hands. She's not ashamed or unsure of her position - except maybe in what it means or even is because she hasn't been able to figure that part of her out, ever; it doesn't just break down into boys and girls - but it's a hard fucking thing to bring up to anyone, let alone someone you have been making out with. Eventually she just gives up with exasperation and draws one leg up on the bed, bending it at the knee and turning to face him. Her palms are flat over her knees. ]
Before I was here, back at school, specifically, the last relationship that I had that - it wasn't even technically a relationship. Maybe it could have been, eventually, but everything - I have no idea what it was or what we were doing, but it was there, and it's a thing that happened, and it was also with a girl. Someone said something ignorant, not knowing about that, it made me feel like shit, and now I'm angry about it.
[ And that's it. That's the story. That she has literally never told anyone else before. Except for Sylar but picking it out of your brain like picking out an ice cream flavor doesn't count, and Sylar doesn't count either, at all. Claire doesn't look away because she finds that harder to do than to keep watch for a reaction. ]
apparently keeping his mouth shut was the correct tactic. Severus watches all the scarf-fiddling, occasionally considers saying something, but then is glad he didn't when she finally spills all that out. It's not earth-shattering and he doesn't find himself shocked or scandalized-- though it is several details to consider at once.
His expression is attentive, not bothered, though he does frown a bit before finally saying, ] They were being a prick.
[ As that's what it sounds like to him. ]
Was it - [ a pause, he reflects for a heartbeat, obviously considering how to word this. Slower, now - ] Are you worried about her showing up here? Or was it someone being senseless about queer people?
[ In the 1980s, 'queer people' isn't quite so borderline-slur sounding, but Severus doesn't project derogatory when he says it. Meanwhile: is Claire dating someone at home? Is that something he should be bothered by? Is that.. something they should take into consideration? Fuck, he has no idea. The fact that it's another woman doesn't register very high on the list of things he should be paying attention to. ]
[ Her expression turns quizzical, both at the terminology and at his confusion over which she's bothered by. Quizzical and kind of surprised because it's not the reaction that she was holding her breath against but at the same time how could she have expected any less? It strikes her as odd that the answer wouldn't be obvious, though she does suppose that the wizarding world probably has more to worry about than people's sexual orientation.
She'll agree with him on the prick part, even if her anger simmers down into little flames wanting to lick the tension from the fifth floor sometimes before it builds itself up again and steams. ]
I'd be extremely worried if she showed up here, because she would have absolutely no reference for what to do and would probably end up dead. [ But that's it. Claire is a serial monogamist and she's not a cheater. Once she's involved with someone, she's involved until something forces her not to be. Whether that's a design of her own making or some external circumstance, it just depends. But he doesn't have anything to be concerned about. ] I'm not worried about - if she showed up, you and me, that wouldn't change. We weren't even really together. I mean, there was something, but it's nothing I could put a name to. I think it was on a collision course, anyway. We were never really on the same page about a lot of things.
[ Claire takes a moment to collect the frayed and scattered thoughts littered around her head and realizes that she has moved one of her hands from her knee away and fisted it in the bedspread. Her brow furrows, and she makes a show of thinking before speaking. ]
It isn't - there are a lot of really bigoted opinions about the subject at home. I grew up in a state where that kind of thing was barely tolerated. Maybe by my generation but after that it gets a little sketchy, even then it gets a little sketchy. That's the fear inherent in bringing it up at all, if fear is what you want to call it. And it's not - it's not so cut and dry. Like boy, girl, it's not about that. I don't know. I've never brought it up to anyone before.
[ She and Gretchen never even really talked about what it was or what it meant or how Claire felt about it. It was something that just kind of happened and continued to happen and the parameters and logistics and vernacular surrounding it never mattered. It's never been about gender, is what she's trying to say. Also that, yes, someone was being senseless. ]
[ Severus lets her anxiety roll over him and away, not getting caught up in him anywhere. He watches her face, looking into her (green, of course, always) eyes while she talks. He follows the coil of tension through her shoulders, her hands.
All right. He gets it, now. ]
That sort of thing [ he begins slowly, ] does happen in our world. Being arseholes about it, I mean. It's seen as sort of weird in some circles, not really talked about, but not awful. Some people end up more bothered by it than others. I know muggles are worse about it.
[ So that's his lack of 'You're gay?!' reaction explained. The more he thinks about it the more he thinks, well, it is a pretty unexpected reveal, but only because he's never stopped to consider who else she might be with in any specifics. Would he have thought about men, women, both? Hm. ]
It doesn't bother me.
[ He's got enough other shit to hate people for, there's just no room for homophobia in him. He thinks he'd have to care a whole lot more about sex, and he just doesn't. ]
[ By degrees, she comes down from that heightened place, letting her spine relax one vertebra at a time until her posture is not something that every mother would be proud of. She kind of deflates but doesn't slump, lets herself relax down from manic to somewhere with a steady pulse. Call it intuition, but she really hadn't expected him to be bothered. All the same his response settles somewhere deep down in her marrow. Following how shitty she's felt for the past couple of days, for a number of reasons, it's a welcome break to not have to for a while. ]
Thank you.
[ Claire kind of feels like she should get more emotional about it, but she doesn't. There's genuine gratitude in those two words. Thank you for not being bothered and thank you for not telling her to get out and thank you for your lack of making this a huge deal. ]
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How did you come to that conclusion?
[ Genuine interest. Claire leans back into the desk and crosses her arms and her legs. ]
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I don't have a solid pattern of evidence. I just think it covers a variety of bases that otherwise seem unrelated or pointless. I could well be very wrong.
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It's not exactly the worst theory that I've ever heard. [ She's quiet for a moment, her foot bobbing up and down in absent space. ] Hope it's not my planet.
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[ Maybe. It could be worse. He decides not to say so; she's probably aware as he is. Severus leans with his elbows on his knees and shakes his head. ]
In any event. Erik is a weird bastard but he's effective.
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He was very...
[ She trails off, trying to find the right word. None of them really feel correct on her tongue when she tries them out, making vague shapes with her mouth. ]
Abrupt? Maybe?
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[ Everyone here, to some degree, is dangerous. Severus obviously doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Because for now, it isn't. ]
I feel a bit better knowing you and Lily will be along.
[ Sane people. ]
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We paired up when we went into the corridors the last time, with Maria. She's got a vested interest in puppies, too, so that makes her a good reference in my book. [ In all seriousness, though. Claire finds her a warm contrast to the overall glum of those missions, focused and capable. For a moment, she seems to mull over something, the approaches the topic carefully. ] You two were in school together, right?
[ Her tone of voice makes it expressly clear that is all she's aware of. ]
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After a moment, ]
We knew each other before school for a little while. [ He glances away briefly, that neutral expression holding. ] We were in different houses, we grew up and grew apart. She's very good a potionmaking, it's nice to have someone else here who knows what they're doing.
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It happens. It sucks but it does. [ Claire does think of Zach when she says it, even if it's not remotely the same, and she knows better than to inquire further. ] Is potionmaking as much about magic as the other things you're able to do? I know you shot down my chemistry comparison a long time ago, but it seems like it's more hands-on, or just - [ She makes a gesture with her hands, like she's squeezing grapefruit for ripeness. ] - tangible.
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He still loves her. Of course he does. Lily's the only person who was ever selflessly kind to him. He'll never not love her. It's out of love that he doesn't say more. She deserves more than being associated so closely with him, and having her business spread around.
Talking about potions is better. ]
Yes, it's still magic. [ Severus seems a little distant at first, but slowly shakes it off. ] There's a kind of silent communication during the process. Only witches and wizards can coax the correct properties from it all.
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She does look somewhat disappointed, though it's mostly exaggerated. She huffs and dramatically blows some of the shorter pieces of hair crowding around her face away from the curve of her cheek, rolling her eyes. ]
It's like every day is a constant reminder that I will never be cool.
[ Claire Bennet is every eleven-year-old who read a book and never got a letter. Except she's nineteen. And deciding that instead of sitting she's going to wander around the small space following the reaction to that previous line of conversation. Blank is still blank, and it's telling in its own right, even if it's not overt in its translation. Eventually she picks up that scarf. ]
This is nice.
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He watches her, staying where he is. The little room smells a bit like mint from the balm he makes for his hands with the faintest remnants of tobacco; there's a mug on the small dresser that he uses as an ash tray, but it's cleaned and empty. He doesn't smoke all that much. ]
I hadn't seen it in years until I got here, [ he says of the scarf. ] Slytherin house colors. I think it must be the one I had as a student.
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[ Maybe now that all the Petrellis have vacated the ship, she'll get her chance to shine in the goods from home department, some cosmic balance tipping in her favor. Spike had found her plenty of things before he just disappeared, but nothing to brighten up anything in that sardine tin. Claire has pieced things together in order to make it look less like a cell of some kind, but her bedrooms have always been open and airy and organized with color. It isn't really a big deal, but she notices. ]
I like the colors. Back in Odessa, our colors were red and white. Different shades of blue in California. Never saw any green and silver personally.
[ Having turned away while folding the thick material in her hands to look at some of the other odds and ends, Claire lets the scarf unravel as she turns back and takes the one step necessary to bringing her within reaching distance. Sloppily - still, almost nervously, as if unsure if she should be doing anything at all - she drapes it over his shoulders in a poor imitation of a proper tie. ]
Space is cold.
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I live in a dungeon, I like the temperature set lower. [ He tugs one end of the scarf but doesn't pull it off. It is weird; it even smells like what he remembers. What a fucking choice, TQ. ] Do you want it?
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Yeah, I was gonna say - it's kind of chilly in here. [ The light, in a weird way, only seems to add to that fact. She can't imagine what living in a dungeon might be like. Drippy, probably. ] It's yours. You should keep it.
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Anyway. Severus adjusts a bit and then loops one end of the scarf around her.
So there. ]
Sure you're all right?
[ Missing home or. Whatever. Take the scarf, Claire. ]
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[ She definitely isn't missing home, that's for sure. Claire realizes that's a strange conclusion to come to but putting that catastrophe on pause for as long as possible is something she can only ever be happy about. And she really did come down here to ask in person about the medical records thing but maybe there was more to it than that, maybe that was just a smokescreen.
Her fingertips catch the end of the scarf and she examines it for frays and tears and other imperfections. So that she doesn't have to look at him when she says it, Claire unwinds the fabric from around his neck and talks while doing so. ]
I kind of got into it with someone recently. [ It's probably obvious who the someone is - okay, maybe not - but she doesn't want to specify if she doesn't have to. This conversation already might go somewhere she's not entirely prepared to take it. ] I thought eventually I would just stop caring but it's taking it's time going away, that's all.
[ When she's finished, she is adequately scarfed in Slytherin colors. ]
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Threatening to kill someone for her probably isn't the right answer either. He sits back enough so that if she wants to sit next to him she can; he lets go of her hand, not clinging or pulling her around. Brief and supportive. He hopes. ]
Do you want to tell me about it? [ That's a better answer. Right? Probably. Sounds accurate.
(If it was Black, Severus will actually kill him.) ]
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I don't know. [ She really doesn't. Distantly Claire knows that if anyone was going to be understanding about it, Severus would be the one. That doesn't change anything, and she doesn't sit down just yet. ] There's kind of a lot more to it than just the argument.
[ Sirius Black is safe another day on the Tranquility, and Claire intends to not name names just for the sake of containing the situation. ]
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Instead of prodding at her to say more he just stays where he is and looks at her. He tries to keep his expression patient. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine, but he doesn't know what else to say that won't be something stupid. She mentioned it, anyway. Maybe she just needs a distraction. Or. Something. He doesn't have a deck of cards.
The silence could be awkward, but Severus is adept at seeming fine with it. Being reserved has some benefits. ]
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For a long time - or what feels like a long time and is actually probably a long time, since sitting in silence with only one other person for longer than 30 seconds feels like sitting in silence with them for three hours - Claire just fiddles with the scarf, spreading it across her thighs and blanketing her hands. She's not ashamed or unsure of her position - except maybe in what it means or even is because she hasn't been able to figure that part of her out, ever; it doesn't just break down into boys and girls - but it's a hard fucking thing to bring up to anyone, let alone someone you have been making out with. Eventually she just gives up with exasperation and draws one leg up on the bed, bending it at the knee and turning to face him. Her palms are flat over her knees. ]
Before I was here, back at school, specifically, the last relationship that I had that - it wasn't even technically a relationship. Maybe it could have been, eventually, but everything - I have no idea what it was or what we were doing, but it was there, and it's a thing that happened, and it was also with a girl. Someone said something ignorant, not knowing about that, it made me feel like shit, and now I'm angry about it.
[ And that's it. That's the story. That she has literally never told anyone else before. Except for Sylar but picking it out of your brain like picking out an ice cream flavor doesn't count, and Sylar doesn't count either, at all. Claire doesn't look away because she finds that harder to do than to keep watch for a reaction. ]
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apparently keeping his mouth shut was the correct tactic. Severus watches all the scarf-fiddling, occasionally considers saying something, but then is glad he didn't when she finally spills all that out. It's not earth-shattering and he doesn't find himself shocked or scandalized-- though it is several details to consider at once.
His expression is attentive, not bothered, though he does frown a bit before finally saying, ] They were being a prick.
[ As that's what it sounds like to him. ]
Was it - [ a pause, he reflects for a heartbeat, obviously considering how to word this. Slower, now - ] Are you worried about her showing up here? Or was it someone being senseless about queer people?
[ In the 1980s, 'queer people' isn't quite so borderline-slur sounding, but Severus doesn't project derogatory when he says it. Meanwhile: is Claire dating someone at home? Is that something he should be bothered by? Is that.. something they should take into consideration? Fuck, he has no idea. The fact that it's another woman doesn't register very high on the list of things he should be paying attention to. ]
no subject
She'll agree with him on the prick part, even if her anger simmers down into little flames wanting to lick the tension from the fifth floor sometimes before it builds itself up again and steams. ]
I'd be extremely worried if she showed up here, because she would have absolutely no reference for what to do and would probably end up dead. [ But that's it. Claire is a serial monogamist and she's not a cheater. Once she's involved with someone, she's involved until something forces her not to be. Whether that's a design of her own making or some external circumstance, it just depends. But he doesn't have anything to be concerned about. ] I'm not worried about - if she showed up, you and me, that wouldn't change. We weren't even really together. I mean, there was something, but it's nothing I could put a name to. I think it was on a collision course, anyway. We were never really on the same page about a lot of things.
[ Claire takes a moment to collect the frayed and scattered thoughts littered around her head and realizes that she has moved one of her hands from her knee away and fisted it in the bedspread. Her brow furrows, and she makes a show of thinking before speaking. ]
It isn't - there are a lot of really bigoted opinions about the subject at home. I grew up in a state where that kind of thing was barely tolerated. Maybe by my generation but after that it gets a little sketchy, even then it gets a little sketchy. That's the fear inherent in bringing it up at all, if fear is what you want to call it. And it's not - it's not so cut and dry. Like boy, girl, it's not about that. I don't know. I've never brought it up to anyone before.
[ She and Gretchen never even really talked about what it was or what it meant or how Claire felt about it. It was something that just kind of happened and continued to happen and the parameters and logistics and vernacular surrounding it never mattered. It's never been about gender, is what she's trying to say. Also that, yes, someone was being senseless. ]
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All right. He gets it, now. ]
That sort of thing [ he begins slowly, ] does happen in our world. Being arseholes about it, I mean. It's seen as sort of weird in some circles, not really talked about, but not awful. Some people end up more bothered by it than others. I know muggles are worse about it.
[ So that's his lack of 'You're gay?!' reaction explained. The more he thinks about it the more he thinks, well, it is a pretty unexpected reveal, but only because he's never stopped to consider who else she might be with in any specifics. Would he have thought about men, women, both? Hm. ]
It doesn't bother me.
[ He's got enough other shit to hate people for, there's just no room for homophobia in him. He thinks he'd have to care a whole lot more about sex, and he just doesn't. ]
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Thank you.
[ Claire kind of feels like she should get more emotional about it, but she doesn't. There's genuine gratitude in those two words. Thank you for not being bothered and thank you for not telling her to get out and thank you for your lack of making this a huge deal. ]
It's just been bugging me. I really will be fine.
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